Profiles

In the domestic adoption world, there is a document called a "profile" which is ALL of your life bound in a tiny book of photos and words. In many ways, having a "profile" feels like overexposure. Or worse, it makes you feel like a phony. I mean, how can one person's whole existence be summed up on a couple of pages of Kodak paper? However, the "profile" is your lifeline in the adoption. Without the profile, no birth moms will ever even know you exist. Without the profile, you are never going to get your baby. Therefore, I remind myself, every time I think about my "profile" out there getting scrutiny and narrow looks, to put on the full armor of God. With this armor, as described in Ephesians 6:10-20, I am more than a conqueror. When I am wearing this armor, nothing formed against me can possibly stand. I am especially writing to inform everyone that this week I have sent out my profile for a specific case. The birth mom will review many profiles this week. It all is in HIS hands. Whether the "profile" advances me to the next level or not, I am still armored and fully HIS. 

Looking at verses 19-20, I am especially in need of your prayers. I cannot speak for myself...the "profile" speaks for me. More precisely, Christ speaks for me. He stands in my defense. My profile speaks directly of Christ and His love and His salvation. I am praying that it also audibly speaks to the birth mom that The Lord has chosen to bring my child into this world. This woman holds a very special place in my heart. Please lift up the birth mother of my child. Inevitably, the decision rests solely on her. I am praying for divine intervention in regards to her choosing me. As anyone can imagine, this decision will be one of the most difficult decisions of her entire life. Pray for her with me. Pray for her soul and salvation. Pray for her to experience clarity and peace as she decides the future of the life growing inside of her. 

As always, pray for my child. Pray for a healthy baby and a free-of-complications birth. Pray also for me. I covet your prayers in the waiting...in the quiet. 

Love in Christ,

Needing His Embrace

-Satisfied, The Gathering Place Worship- Come & Dwell

I want to keep these words on repeat each day as I face the multitudinous bumps in the road that is this adoption journey. To say that everything along the way is fantastic would be a lie. Most days, it is difficult to face the reality of the process----the agonizing waiting, the anxiety of the lack of funds, the pressures of making the correct choices.  Crawl under a rock and hide there forever? Yes, please! The only problem with that is that Christ is a beacon of light. Nothing about what He is doing here in the midst of this journey can be hidden. Daily I feel like a raw, salt-scrubbed, open wound. Here is the thing....I know why I feel that way. That feeling is Christ! He is speaking through the vulnerability.  If I did not know what discomfort felt like, then I would be missing out on Him Washing me in His grace, Drenching me in His Spirit, Clothing me in His Love, and Wrapping me in His mercy.  I do not want to miss such precious moments. Feeling exposed and ragged makes me want to be more overwhelmed with his presence.  It makes me long desperately for His perfect embrace.  So, I recant. Forget the hiding under a rock forever thing. He is my ROCK and my salvation. My ROCK, my Savior, hides me in His serenity. It is the only true calm in the storm.  It is a peace like no other. When I remember this, I am satisfied. Apart from HIM, I am nothing. Play that on repeat all day long. Never forget it. Never live outside of it. So, as I face weekly turmoil pertaining to choosing which birth mom profile is the "right" one, I am reminded of all of these things. Though I am weary, He is my strength, my peace, and my refuge.  It would be easy for me to complain and say, "I'd rather be somewhere else in this process right now." And, don't get me wrong, I do still say such things (pray for me!). However, there is nowhere better to be than right here--overwhelmed by His presence in this struggle, knowing that I am in the center of His will. So, if you're journeying with me, join me in rejoicing over the only thing in the world that matters....Jesus Christ! Please continue to pray over me and my child as the Lord continues to move at His own pace. 

Much Love, 

Jambalaya

This verse of scripture was lived out loud by my closest family on earth-- the family of believers. I am always overwhelmed by the evidence of Christ within His active body. I want to offer my deepest and sincerest thanks to everyone who participated in Jambalaya Plate Lunch Day! Thanks to my dad for being an excellent cook. Thanks to everyone who helped in all capacities. If you sold plates, dished beans, placed in forks, baked cookies(or even burned a couple!), counted orders, delivered orders, rescued delivery ladies whose car overheated, watched babies for hours so others could work, and sacrificed your space or time in ANY way, I am indeed truly humbled by your love and am grateful for your participation. It was a all-hands-on-deck kind of day, and I could not have done it without you guys. If you were one of the many generous people who purchased a plate or two, thank you again for supporting me in this process. I love you all! It is because of days like this that I am reminded of Christ's overwhelming Providence. It is by witnessing his followers serve so willingly that I am reminded of His power, might, and love. Thank you, family, for being the light of Christ in my life.